I had this problem when I played Battlefield 2 5 years ago. But at that time I could still blame my hardware which wasn’t the top range or ideal specs a gamer would look at.

5 years later, I’m playing Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and I’m still facing this problem, if only worse. I’m running an i5 Core Processor, 4GB RAM and a Nvidia 275GTX graphics card, and things still look the same as before when I was using that old un-modified HP desktop.

I’m sprinting forward, holding on to the Left+Shift key as I move, yet I feel like I’m running through water. There’s so much resistance in my path slowing me down and finally when I let go of the ‘sprint’ key I actually slide about 5 steps back.

Through the scope I see an enemy and promptly fire a few shots at where my red dot is centered, but apparently my opponent doesn’t take any hits at all as the ‘X’ on the crosshair that indicates a hit doesn’t appear. Then all of sudden I’m shot in the head and I’m dead, leaving me cursing and swearing once again.

I’m talking about the god-damn problem known as lag.

I would understand if I’m playing on a US server since the vast distance separating our two countries means that data takes a longer time to travel to the other side. What I don’t comprehend is how on earth I’m lagging on a Singapore Fragnetics server when my ping is 100 and below? I’m playing on a local server and yet I don’t see the difference with the experience I get with a server in France or Germany. In fact, I can actually play better on their servers.

It’s a bloody joke, to say the least. We’re such a small country yet our broadband speeds aren’t up to the kind of standards one would expect of a developed country aspiring to be hub in many aspects. I need not say more about Japan’s 100mbps connection, and if I’m not wrong Taiwan and some cities in China are wired up with pretty fast speeds too.

Prior to writing this article, I gave up playing on the beta for the upcoming game Medal of Honour. The lag was so horrendous I could go on a death streak of more than five without registering a kill, even though at times I had the enemy lined up down my sights. Without any Asia servers running yet, I gave the game one last chance by joining a Sydney server. No difference from the New York one and it was all quits.

The picture at the top of this article accurately sums up my frustration of having to put up with yet another un-playable online game. If my keyboard were made of paper, it would have been crushed up by now.

And I thought we were connected in the Asia-Pacific region.

Starhub Maxonline has been my only broadband ISP since I hooked up seven years ago. There’s only one computer in the house, hence the family’s always been on the cheapest plan – if I’m not wrong it’s 2mbps now. I’ve been reading the forums and have yet to come to a concrete conclusion as to which is the best ISP in Singapore – mixed reviews on all three services aplenty. Sometimes I wonder if there’s any form of collusion going on regarding the broadband service.

Now that there’s a Home Hubbing Pack Promotion by Starhub which offers a 16mbps connection as part of the package, I’m thinking whether this upgrade would actually improve my gaming experience. Hey, it’s 8 times faster than my current connection ( obviously we will never hit that ).

Or would the shared bandwith problem in my condominium block result in nothing more than a mere increase written on the bill?

To upgrade or not? Is there nothing our ISPs can do to improve? Share your views in the comments box below.

]]> http://foodandfrag.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/riders-cafe/feed/ 0 Pancakes mortifiedpenguin Pancakes Death by Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake http://foodandfrag.wordpress.com/2010/05/02/three-green-lights-020510-wheres-my-battlefield-3/ http://foodandfrag.wordpress.com/2010/05/02/three-green-lights-020510-wheres-my-battlefield-3/#comments Sun, 02 May 2010 09:17:50 +0000 mortifiedpenguin http://foodandfrag.wordpress.com/?p=1027 ]]>

In search of the true BF2 sequel..

In this week’s entry, mortifiedpenguin analyses the multiplayer mode of Bad Company 2, and thinks he’s been shortchanged.

In my previous Bad Company 2 review, I talked about how good the game was, especially the multiplayer.

But like every other favourable review online, it’s meant to convince you to buy the game. I’m your third-party salesman and I’m not even collecting commission for every copy sold!

In Three Green Lights however, I revert to my honest self and make sure you’re fully aware of the flaws in the game you’re buying or, should the unfortunate event happen, have already purchased. Don’t sue me please – it’s not as bad as having sold you a car with one less wheel.

Bad Company 2 is not Battlefield 3. I’ve waited for 5 years since the release of BF2, and sad to say the true sequel has not arrived. If you’re a BF2 fan and have not bought BC2, there’re two things you can do. One, join the fray and enjoy the game while cursing it at the same time. Two, continue waiting for BF3. You’ll be the biggest douche if you followed the second advice, because you could have bought the game and played it to kill time.

Many of you definitely love to play as the sniper. You stay hidden in your ghillie suit camouflaged against the environment and wait for the perfect moment to pull the trigger. And after being killed five times the same guy still has no clue on your position.

As a sniper, you will know that the best, and most favourite firing position, is the prone position. It keeps your body to a minimum profile while at the same time allowing you to steady your rifle without tiring yourself. Battlefield 1942 was probably the first game to introduce prone, or was it Operation Flashpoint? Never mind the history debate, the fact is Bad Company 2 is the first Battlefield game to not have prone as an option.

No your eyes are not playing tricks on you. You can’t go prone.

Despite all that training I received in sniper school, for the sake of fairness I'm not allowed to go prone.

It would be alright if you could crouch without holding on to the Ctrl key, but no you don’t have that luxury either.

So what the heck is DICE up to?

Even Infinity Ward put prone in Modern Warfare 2.

I know the first Bad Company game didn’t have prone as well, but that was dumbed down for the console players. If you’re going to continue the trend fine, but don’t force it upon the PC gamers.

Maybe it’s the common problem in BF2 where players exploited the prone option by dolphin-diving, a move where you jump and immediately go prone in mid-air – imagine bouncing off a trampoline on your stomach. It’s plain stupid and was fixed in one of the patches, so players were now left with the basic prone-diving where they quickly lay down once they encountered an enemy. Pussy, to say the least.

I understand the frustration having to deal with such players who have no intention of playing the game properly and go prone once they encounter an enemy even if he’s two feet away, MW2 being the prime example. But why take it out completely when you can actually improve on the feature and teach Infinity Ward a lesson? Why not implement an animation where the soldier reaches down to the ground with one hand to support himself – the player won’t be able to fire as he goes to the prone position thus making it more realistic, and fair.

Under fire, my instinct as a solider is to duck down and inch my way to cover. Why should I bother crouching when even hidden behind a concrete slate I can still get shot in the head? That’s not protection at all!

Why? Why no prone, DICE?

I could go on about how the lack of a commander position makes things messy with the snipers being able to call in mortar strikes on their own, the abuse of rocket launchers and grenade launchers makes playing virtually impossible at times, a poorly-designed command and chat system isn’t communication-friendly, and other grievances. But then again, perhaps this is what differentiates Bad Company 2 from the other titles – a poor console-port for the PC I guess?

So thank you EA for making a Bad Company game for the PC. Now please carry on with BF3, much appreciated.

Buying a keitai is like buying a Ferrari, as mortifiedpenguin finds out.

3 months since I bought my new phone, I still haven’t found the best reason to justify why I made the purchase. For now, I would blame it on the worsening condition of my disease known as GSD, or gizmo succumbing disorder. No, this is not the same as what a spendthrift is suffering from. My money is blown on just IT stuff, not random pieces of clothing and white elephants.

Look back at the posts from 2008 and you will find an old article about my new phone then. It was a Samsung Pixon, one of the first full-touchscreen phones with a 8-megapixel camera. I liked it, but the processor speed of the Pixon just couldn’t keep up with my usage. As would how a Windows 7 user gets frustrated when using a cluttered Windows 98 computer, I was getting annoyed by how simple functions like typing an SMS would lag occasionally, and picture viewing wasn’t up to the standard of an iPhone. Then came National Service and the Pixon was relegated to more of a weekend getaway, collecting dust at home 5 days a week while I was away in camp.

My GSD meant that I was soon getting bored of the Pixon, and my fingers wanted to play with something new. The logical move would be to go buy an iPhone, but at that time Singtel was still the sole carrier and I was a M1 customer. I didn’t like qwerty keypads squeezed into a tiny compact size, so Blackberry and its fellow copycats were out of the question too. Surfing on GSMArena churned out lots of information on upcoming models from various brands, including my favourite Samsung, but alas nothing caught my eye.

I don’t know if it’s just my own nitpicky preference, but do you realise that phones are looking the same these days? Because Apple’s baby is becoming the world’s favourite handset now, everyone is trying to emulate its success and in so doing, they’re releasing models which have similar features. Touchscreen? Check. WiFi? Check. Camera? 8-10 megapixels, sir. Even the Apple Apps feature is not spared – look at the new Samsung Wave. But really, put a HTC, Samsung, LG and an iPhone side by side and the only major difference is the operating system. And I wasn’t impressed by any one of them. Even fan-boy favouritism didn’t convince me to buy a new Samsung like the Omnia 2. I needed something more revolutionary than just a thinner touchscreen phone.

All too similar - BORING!

A curious search on Hardwarezone led me to a mysterious place titled “Exotic Phones Forum” and immediately I was sucked in. Toying with my preference for Japanese goods, the forum seduced me with images of the latest phones from Japan’s mobile carrier NTT Docomo, none of the brands you would have seen in local telcos. When I was in Tokyo last year, I was wowed by the huge display of mobile phones at Yodobashi coupled with the enthusiastic promotion by sales staff. Rather than the usual black or silver colours we are used to seeing back home, these Japanese phones were available in bright shiny colours like pink, red, blue and gold. If walking by the electronics store everyday as I made my way from the hotel to the subway wasn’t enough, I had to force myself not to gaze at commuters on the train watching TV on their phones, or cute schoolgirls taking self-portraits easily with the clamshell screens rotated so that they could see themselves. Unfortunately, the lack of a Japanese passport or visa meant that I wasn’t allowed to buy a keitai as the law in Japan stated.

So now Hardwarezone’s offering me an opportunity to get my hands on a keitai, and there’s a hefty price to pay. Do I seriously need a phone which has limited features and can only be used on weekends, when the money could be saved for something more meaningful like my overseas trip next year? To give you a rough idea, the cost of the phone is equivalent to two months of my measly pay.

My cost-and-benefit analysis led me to compare my situation with that of purchasing a Ferrari.

You see, a Ferrari is not just a car. It’s an icon of engineering and styling perfection, as well as unbeatable performance. It’s a dream that not everyone can afford. Yet, it’s not the most practical car for the price you pay. Even with that immensely powerful V8 engine, you aren’t allowed to fully experience the exhilarating speed on Singapore roads. There’s only a seat for one more person, so you would have to decide between your girlfriend, or your other girlfriend; and the storage space is just big enough for a kitten so driving it on a shopping trip is very much inappropriate. But there are people who still buy one, or even own a collection.

Why? A Ferrari makes you feel good, and not just with that nausea-inducing acceleration or harmonious engine. It distinguishes you from everyone else, because you belong to a club exclusive to a privileged few who know how to appreciate the finer things in life. And when you wake Orchard Road up with that symphonic orchestra, heads will turn and you’ll be smiling cheekily to yourself like a boy who’s run away after throwing a rock into the neighbour’s window. Even when the car finally reaches the end of its lifespan, you most probably would still keep it polished in the garage because unlike that typical BMW or Audi which you could trade in to get a newer model, a Ferrari is more than just a car – it’s one of your life’s rare gems.

You're never wrong with a Ferrari!

Putting the above into context, a keitai would only be able to run on the GSM network in Singapore and many of its advanced features like mobile TV, Internet surfing and wallet services would not be available for use here, hence paying that whopping price-tag would be quite a ridiculous investment. However I didn’t want to hop on the iPhone-Blackberry bandwagon and become one of the thousands of Singaporeans tapping and sliding on screens or fiddling their thumbs on buttons designed for elves. I prefer to be unique, in the same way how I choose to listen to Lush 99.5 instead of the trash on 98.7. And to be honest, touchscreens are the passé fashion now. It’s time to start a new trend.

It’s time to own the clamshell again.

And boy, does it make me feel good.

mortifiedpenguin will discuss more on his keitai’s features in Part 2.

Sorry, you won't be able to find this delicious spread in Singapore!

I’m still awaiting approval from my editor to write on this new topic I’ve proposed, but in the meantime let me share with you some information about this tantalising assignment. I’m on the search for some of the best cakes in Singapore, with a couple of blogs and reviews as reference. We all love cakes – they’re a sinful but worthy indulgence, and my aim is to find the best of the lot so that the next time you’re tasked with getting the cake for a loved one’s birthday, or you just want to hang out with a group of friends over tea, you aren’t short of options to bring a smile to everyone’s faces.

But really, I’ve been having a craving for sweet treats for a month now and it’s about time I get started on the hunt. The only problem? It’s not going to be cheap at all. I can’t possibly try so many cakes at once, so I need friends to join me on this quest. Drop me a comment below, or if I actually make an announcement on my Facebook just RSVP!

First up: American Cheesecake from Hilton Singapore! Stay tuned.

Here are a couple of changes from the old design:

• Pages can be found on the bar at the top and have been given the drop-down function, so under the Editor’s section you will find the Editor’s Note and PC Specifications, while contact details are on a separate page.
• The ‘Read More’ button doesn’t exist anymore – instead click on the post’s title to read the full entry.
• Unfortunately there is no function to add a custom blog header in Inuit, and the image widget is only available on the front page.

I personally love the new look – it looks more like a magazine now! What do you think?

It took me a long while to post this review up because I’d just finished the single-player campaign yesterday. Having bought the game a month ago, you would be wondering why I did not breeze through the game like I normally do with other titles from last year.

There’re two reasons actually. One, I’ve not played the first Bad Company game. Being a console-exclusive meant that a gamer like me who stands by the notion that ‘FPS are meant to be played on the PC” shunned the game totally, until this year. I have only one shooter title for my Xbox and that’s Rainbow Six: Vegas 2 which didn’t get a good score from me, so fortunately I didn’t have to spend a penny on a game I didn’t really want to play by borrowing it from a friend.

Now I had actually intended to finish the single-player campaign of the first game in order to know the characters well enough to start off with the new story, and perhaps pick up any references. However, I only barely survived the first two chapters and popped the disc out of the console and back into the box. I state again, shooters are meant to be played on the PC.

That’s not to say the first game is rubbish. In fact, it’s a fairly decent shooter but it just didn’t have a gripping storyline to convince me not to put the controller down. Having just become acquaintances with Bad Company, I brought them on their second tour of duty.

It’s important to note that I was playing the game with memories of Modern Warfare 2 still fresh in my mind. MW2 was the most cinematic game of 2009 ( sorry I don’t have a PS3 to play Unchartered 2 ) and the latest Battlefield game had lots of ground to cover in order to establish itself as a close competitor. I’m glad to say that if DICE intended to give Infinity Ward a run for its money, they certainly did a good job.

The storyline takes place sometime after events in Bad Company, but apparently both plots are not related to each other. Bad Company is on their final mission in service and tasked to secure a mysterious Aurora device before it falls into Russian hands, but turns out the precious cargo is a dummy and the team is ordered to retreieve the real weapon, much to the disappointment of team leader Sergeant Redford who has been looking forward to retirement. The game takes players on a journey throughout South America where firefights take place in various settings ranging from a freezing Andes mountain to the jungles of Bolivia, and environments are beautifully designed but without the mind-blowing details captured in Modern Warfare 2.

However Bad Company 2 doesn’t aim to be the best game in visuals – it has an ace card up its sleeve and that’s the FrostBite 2 engine which delivers fully-destructible environments. This not only makes the game more action-packed, seeing how trees topple and buildings crumble under fire, but also increases the level of difficulty as well. Like in any battle out there, there is no form of cover that is 100% safe. And you’ll quickly learn why, especially if you’re entering the battlefield fresh from a certain modern warfare. A spray of bullets from a machine gun may send you ducking behind a fence, but continued firing on your position will rip the barrier to shreds, leaving you exposed once again. And while the basic instinct upon seeing an oncoming enemy tank is to take cover in the nearest building, one shot from the heavy armour and you’ll be one corner short.

Bravo Two-Actual to Command, MW2 in sight, I repeat, MW2 in sight.

This means that you’ll be constantly on the move instead of camping, running from cover to cover as you try to gain territorial advantage on your enemy. Along the way you will also be impressed by the audio quality in the game. Powered by Dolby Digital, Bad Company 2 features an orchestra of weaponry music that’s a feast to any military enthusiast. Not only does every weapon sound unique ( and realistic too, unlike some MW2 guns which feel like toys ), the sound of a gunshot varies depnding on location. Fire a .50 calibre M95 rifle under a bridge and the resulting echo will reverberate through your ears.

Bad Company 2 could have been a complete cinematic experience, but instead it is let down by the many cut-scenes which backfired in their attempts to make the story more narrative. Most of these moments only provided additional information which could been delivered during the gameplay itself, and broke up the flow of the game by interrupting abruptly. This also meant that, like the first game, I did not enjoy the single-player campaign as much as I would expect. Yet it’s still a thrilling experience, and fun too especially with nutheads Haggard and Sweetwater as your squad mates who never fail to get into some humorous arguments.

I should talk more about the single-player campaign, especially about the A.I, but I won’t. I believe that if you buy a Battlefield game, multiplayer is where you get your money’s worth. This isn’t Call of Duty: Bad Company 2, and the main learning points should be directed at the core gameplay feature that defines Battlefield.

Since I haven’t played the first game online, the following paragraphs will be based on the perspective of a Battlefield 2 and MW2 veteran.

Being exposed to the FrostBite2 engine with human players for the first time, it’s easy to take anything that’s above your height for granted. And then curse when you get blown up by a 40mm grenade even though you were perfectly hidden in the room. Once again, when you play Bad Company 2 online it’s important to constantly remind yourself that nowhere on the battlefield is safe.

The house-warming party ended with a big bang.

There are 4 multiplayer modes – the traditional Battlefield capture-the-flag Conquest, Rush which sees the attacking team breaking through the defenses of the opposition to blow up M-COM stations stage by stage, Squad Rush which is the exact same mode but pits two squads of 4 players against each other, and lastly Squad Deathmatch which is an intense fight to 50 kills among 4 squads. While Rush is a new mode to be featured in the Battlefield series and is just as tactical as the other gameplay types, I’m sticking to my old-school roots and prefer playing Conquest. Whichever mode you prefer to play on, teamwork and communication are the two essential keys to survival. There are four soldier classes to choose from with options to customise individual kits, and while there are bound to be certain preferences for camping ( Recon ) or run-and-gun ( Assault ), it’s advisable to fully understand the capabilities of all classes and master your favourite one. For example, Recon is not just about sniping – you’re a vital asset in spotting enemy targets from far away and this intel can keep your team-mates alive. Manning a machine gun may sound orgasmic to some but your primary role as a medic is actually to keep your friends alive by constantly providing medical aid, sometimes a little divine intervention as well through your defibrillators.

I mentioned ‘spotting enemies’. Yes, as long as an enemy is within firing range and between your cross-hairs, a tap of the ‘Q’ key (default ) will immediately mark his position in the environment and on the mini-map with a red triangle, raising your alertness level and allowing you to decide whether to engage or evade. By keeping a watchful eye, you can also earn assist points if your team-mate manages to kill the enemy you spotted. Other areas where you are rewarded for team-work include kill assists within the team and squad, and also using the heal/revive abilities of the Medic or repairing damaged vehicles as an Engineer. There are so many ways to earn points that players are encouraged to actually work together instead of just jetting off by themselves for a turkey shoot ala MW2. As such, even if you are a newbie to shooter games, you won’t be intimidated to join the fray on the battlefield because the many opportunities to level up make for a gentle learning curve.

Vehicles provide a tactical edge to the game. Tanks are effective at bringing down buildings and killing hidden enemies but are vulnerable to bazooka-wielding Engineers and helicopters. Humvees provide fast transportation with some degree of protection and firepower, while ATVs, yes you didn’t read it wrong, are effective at propelling snipers to their favourite camping spots. Another new addition to the Battlefield series is the armed UAV which can be controlled by the player at a remote station. This tiny helicopter can deliver a nasty Hellfire surprise and with some practice it can be a fearsome weapon against armoured vehicles.

There is also an interesting selection of gadgets like the tracer dart pistol which shoots a homing point onto vehicles for missiles to direct their hit, and the motion sensor which can detect enemy vehicles and troops within its range.

It's not often that you get to ride on an ATV with an Apache on your tail.

2 VIP map packs have been released and these are already available to existing players, as long as their copy is original. They aren’t entirely new maps though but just making the map selection list complete by making Rush and Conquest available on maps which were previously exclusive to either mode. So it might be a while before we actually see some new maps coming our way, perhaps the same old Wake Island trick again?

For now, just remember to put your headset on, because you definitely need to be talking. A quiet soldier is definitely a dead soldier.

Battlefield: Bad Company 2 ( PC ) – 9/10

The single-player may not be as impressive as MW2′s, but really when you’re buying a Battlefield game you know you’re going to jump straight into multiplayer, and Bad Company 2 doesn’t disappoint with its fully-destructible environments, customisable classes and of course, vehicles! My honest verdict: it’s better than Modern Warfare 2.

I’ve got a couple of interesting articles lined up to be published, and in fact they have all been saved in my Drafts folder waiting for a flash of brilliance to kill them off. If you guys need an update on what’s happened over the past 3 months – yes I know the Editor’s Note has not been written at all – I’ve been playing Battlefield: Bad Company 2 and in between breaks fiddling with my new toy. Don’t want to reveal more until I publish my latest personal letter ( I blame the delay on the fact that I have yet to find a nice recent photograph to post,as you can see from how a Jan 2009 photo could be used on the Dec post ), but keep the faith and I will be back soon!

By the way, a shout to all: I’m looking for people to join me on some yummy food-hunting trips, partly to spice things up here, but mostly for external assignments. Again, won’t say much until my first piece has been approved by the Editor ( Yes, even I have a superior to report to ) and if all goes well, the 2nd quarter of 2010 should be a fresh start to the year! So if you’re interested in coming along for some treats, drop me a wink in the Comments section.

Till then, it’s time to brush up on writing.. by reading magazines of course!

This waiter isn't expecting a question as absurd as my mum's.

So the waiter’s taken our order, and proceeds to serve us iced water. The normal routine.

He brings the jug to our table and picks up my mum’s glass.

>> Please don’t let the mouth of the jug touch the glass.

>> Sorry?

My mum must be the first customer to make this request in any restaurant. She’s so particular about cleanliness, she won’t even let another family member touch her toiletries cupboard at home.

When she first asked this question a year ago, I cringed. It was highly embarrassing to be in an awkward situation like the above. I thought my mum was being too nit-picky. Come on, it’s just water ( or tea, if it’s a Chinese restaurant ). Months later, after hearing the same question over and over again, I grew accustomed to it. Actually my mum made sense.

Touching a glass is one thing. Touching all the other glasses in the dining area, and then touching yours, is definitely an issue. When we drink, saliva is left on the glass from contact with the lips. That is a fact. The second fact is there are diseases which can be spread through bodily fluids, and especially by saliva.

You never know when a socially irresponsible person with an infectious disease may be dining in the same restaurant as you. The waiter refills his glass of water, touching it in the process, and comes to your table to do the same. Maybe the waiter didn’t touch the part of the glass where there had been mouth contact, but out of 360 degrees around the brim, there’s still a small chance that bacteria, viruses or other harmful agents had been transferred to the mouth of this jug, and then to your glass.

Which you’re going to drink from.

I’ve seen wait staff who even rest the mouth of the jug inside your glass. Sometimes their actions are so rough it’s as though they’re stabbing your glass. Now that’s really unhygenic and sloppy. Unprofessional, I would say.

The government’s been emphasising on training our workers to be more efficient and productive. I think simple things like pouring drinks in a proper manner are basic lesson points that should be instilled in our wait staff, all the time. If you’re afraid of spilling the drink, then I’m sorry but you really need more practice. Don’t be lazy and contaminate our glasses just because you can’t be bothered to do it properly.

Look at how some Chinese waiters can pour tea without a single drop at an arm’s length, or longer.

It’s the same reason to why serving spoons are used.

I will always remember this amusing reply to my mum’s request when we were dining during Chinese New Year.

>> Is this a superstition thing?

It’s never easy to be awarded Game of the Year.

First you need to prove that you are fun to play.

Then you need to prove your worth among many other titles, who are also title-contenders.

Game of the Year is awarded to the game which has shown to be the most outstanding in most, if not all, aspects of judging criteria – gameplay, graphics, storyline, sound etc. Besides scoring top marks, it must also set itself as a model to inspire all.

There is no doubt that when Modern Warfare 2 was released in November, it made a big impact with its near-perfect single-player and multiplayer. Three months on, it is now one of the most hated games in the world.

That’s like calling for the president you once voted for to be overthrown.

No one would have expected the game to be plagued with bugs, as well as hackers and high latency players aka laggers, resulting in an online game which is nearly impossible to play. Not to mention the fact that finding a server to join is already quite a chore.

Much like election promises gone undelivered, Infinity Ward’s assurance that IWnet would provide a smoother gameplay experience was not to be realised. Quoting IW Community Manager Robert Bowling in October:

“The biggest benefit of using IWnet by far is the fact that you don’t have to worry about joining a server full of aim-bots, wallhacks, or cheaters,”

Then who are these players ruining the game now? Mutants? Superhumans? Extraterrestrial beings of higher intelligence? And note the word ‘biggest benefit‘. We are actually suffering from what is the biggest can of worms we have seen in a game that hit the biggest jackpot on opening day.

No game is perfect on release. We understand, and we believe that problems will be fixed. Instead three months on, the infestation of worms has increased exponentially. The release of updates to fix the problems is too irregular, considering the extent of the damage to the game, so by the time a bug is fixed players have managed to exploit three or four more.

MW2 is so unplayable, this flowchart on GameSpy couldn’t have described it better. While it’s directed at the Xbox 360 version, the problems identified do apply to the PC experience as well. Which goes to show how damn broken the game is.

You can definitely own in MW2 if you are an experienced FPS gamer who spends at least 15 hours of your life in front of the computer. But for many others, you win if you follow one of the following Commandments:

1. Thou shall employ Marathon Pro + Lightweight Pro + Commando Pro: Basically you are a rocket-paced paper soldier with the superhuman ability to run endlessly without tiring and still able to perform a clean headshot after 10 miles. Oh, and since you’re made of paper, you won’t get a scratch from falling 20 feet down. The US military must be investing heavily on research and development into this unique ability for their future soldier project.

2. Thou shall equip Akimbo 1887: Carry two shotguns, one in each hand, and you have the range of an assault rifle plus the firepower of a bazooka. Forget modern weapons engineered with advanced technology and precision – a hundred and twenty year old weapon is the weapon of choice, and of the future. Equip this weapon with the above Perks setup and you are just as powerful as God, only without the lightning.

3. Thou shall not forget grenade launcher / RPG-7: Who needs 30-round magazines or a 100-round drum when you have a grenade that can be launched for long distances? What’s better, these are very effective in close range combat too. Forget about quick reloading of your primary weapon – just fire the tube into an unsuspecting enemy’s stomach or the RPG at his feet.

So what exactly is the team at Inifnity Ward up to right now? Are they still swimming in oceans of cash earned from the record-breaking sales, playfully throwing bundles of notes at each other while frustrated gamers hurl their keyboards at the monitor after being shot in the head by an aimbot the 19th time? Or are they putting the game under an electron microscope to clearly identify all their mistakes and release a major patch which would revamp the wrecked gaming experience?

Maybe they are actually putting their earnings to some use – the development of the next record-smasher game of the year Modern Warfare 3.

Honestly speaking, I’m so bloody bored of the game right now. I’ve had enough of the same old maps as well as the predictable game patterns. For example, in Estate the most commonly deployed tactic is to camp in the house and hold the fort, while in crowded spaces like Karachi and Sub Base the grenade launcher has home advantage. Then there are the usual suspects who are way more advanced than us and teleport from place to place, making sure that bullets can never hit them. For a game that is supposed to bring modern warfare to life, I’m beginning to suspect the game takes place in a different dimension, perhaps a parallel universe.

In case you’ve forgotten, MW2 is bringing DLC in Spring 2010, which I assume would be March onwards. That’s very slow for a game which had been released in November, and also considering that other recent titles like Mass Effect 2 have started their own DLC programme. There might still be a good chance for MW2 to fight back and redeem itself if not for the fact that Battlefield: Bad Company 2 is due to release the first week of March. That should see tens of thousands of MW2 players flocking to EA online, leaving IWnet a barren wasteland.

Including myself. I just can’t wait to start playing a FPS that actually focuses on team-work rather than superhuman Rambos.

DICE's message to Infinity Ward: "Liar liar pants on fire!"

Imagine a Car of the Year that keeps breaking down three months after receiving its award, resulting in hundreds of complaints from drivers and even an order from the Transportation Safety Board to conduct a safety check or even initiate a recall. But the manufacturer remains mum about the problem, and instead announces the next upcoming model.

Yes, another Call of Duty has been announced for this year.